Let the song speak for itself.


"NFTB"

P.s: Tae Yang sounds really sexy.

I think one of the main reason that I'm what I am today is because that I was normally forced to do stuff rather than wanting to do it on my own.

Well, I have to thanks my mum for sending to the school hostel for the past 6 years, and now, not being forced by anyone, I'm simply lost.
 I'm not motivated to do anything. geez.


I really ought to find something to do, something that I want to do, rather than doing something for the sake of doing it.

"NFTB"

Geez. I don't really know what to say about this freaking result.

I mean, of all the subjects, Economics is one of the one that I know what the hell is going on with and yet I got p1 for it, and on the other hand, Accounting, seriously, like seriously I got a D for it. What the hell is wrong with it. geez!




"NFTB"

I think that my 任命 attitude made me really accepting of whatever crap that come in the way, which resulted that I've became really reluctant to do anything about the crap that was thrown into my face. I really ought to fight against this shit.

I've lost the will to fight against things, well, they do say that it's easier to change oneself than to change others right? So, at the very end of the day, I'm still here, doing nothing about the things I don't exactly like about.

Well, if you ask me about anything, my answers, will normally be, "ok lo..", "like that lo..", "what is there to do?"

But seriously, what is there to do about it?



"NFTB"

Taking deep breaths.


Hoping that the stupid tears inside my eyes wouldn't fall.





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Since I'm already a disappointment, the reason for me to keep on trying just vanished into thin air.

Right.

Anyway, so gonna flunk this stupid economics.
Studied over and over the same thing yet I don't get what the fuck it's talking about.


"nftb"



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What you've said, hurts.

It hurts till the core of my soul.

Oh well, once a disappointment, always a disappointment.

"NFTB"

I feel like puking accounting now. eks. :(

I have this feeling that I'm gonna flunk all of the subjects I'm taking why. :(


"NFTB"

I'm deeply sorry for not being able to be by your side this recently and texting you this kind of things doesn't really make it anymore genuine.

Neither have my words nor action prove anything to be right.

I'm so messed up right now.

I do hope you'll understand that you'll be inside my heart, at that very corner that when every waking moment, I'm able to feel your touch and warm.


"NFTB"

Don't lose who you are.
In the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing.
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everyone's bruising.
Just be true to who you are.



"NFTB"

It has been so long since I came here.


I guess the whole busy-no-time-for-anything-uni-life is serving me well.

Oh well. That's life right?

This shows how a teenager with a broken family feels.


"NFTB"

Oh god, I don't really know why am i so addicted to the sound of cello.
The sound just makes me feel really contented.

"NFTB"

I'm trying something new, giving you the treatment of how you treat me, and see how do you like that. 

Although it's killing me, but I do hope this will make you to talk. 

So this was what happened like an hour ago.


May this remind me that I've to be more cautious with what I've said.


But the thing I must say is that since when was I relevant to your outings, parties, or etc?
Do we even know each other that well until the extent that my attendance was that crucial?


After all, it's my fault to choose family over some social event, without giving notice, as I thought I wasn't that  important.

Lesson learnt.


"NFTB"

我不滿的是 為何你可以和你的朋友那麼多東西聊 到我這邊甚麼都不說

為甚麼



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A blog can be used in many ways, but this one, it's personal, not exactly that personal because it's not privated, but anyway, I wouldn't expect high readership everyday, or tons of comments, or etc. 

All I want to say is that if you care about me, as a friend, a lover, or family, you would read what I've written. 

"NFTB"

So it's currently week 6 in my uni life, which means 4-5 more weeks till finals, then the end of the first semester.
I must say that time moves very fast, it's insane!

I finally watched HHSB's 8th concert. Like finally, and I noticed that HHSB then was insane. I don't think we're able to pull it off now, like what we did then. I do miss the time that it's one's obligation to go practice everyday. HHSB is a home, you can go back whenever you want.

Anyway, I've got a D (Distinction) for my first marketing assignment, I will say that I'm happy with what I have but I actually did hope for more. And it's all my language's fault. Bad engerlish. :(
Oh well, there's always space for improvements.


I was reading through my blog, and I notice that I've again changed.
I only can concluded that people my generation changes quickly, in order to cope with this society.
It's not up to us to decide not to change, but it's just that when everyone else do the same, are you sure you don't wanna do it?
I wouldn't say that changing is a bad thing, because of changing, there's modern society, people gotten wiser from arguments, hence we changed.

I should say that when people change, their vision of what's going tend to go blur, what I mean is that we might not be thinking clearly, or see what's the problem. So my point is that, we might not know what have we done wrong, it would be great that people will point it out to you that what have you done wrong.

Quoting my own blog. how lame. lol!


‎"Things might be hard, but we don't stop trying because it's hard, we try even more because it's hard, and you just want see what on the other side and so you don't stop trying." - Liko, NFTB 26 AUG 2010


Until sometime ago, the thought of giving up kept shaking my faith, but after seeing this line, something that I wrote a year ago, I notice that things like this aren't suppose to give up so easily. We should kept trying until the world ends.

As my marketing lecturer said that I'm a confused kid, as I studied science stream then takes a business degree. I guess I'll never grow out of that huh?


"NFTB"
Aiya, life's too short.

Well, been sitting here and observing the people, the scenery and the cute duckies that are swimming in the lake.

I find that three people playing frisbee is just plainly stupid, well, it's looks stupid maybe it's fun, I don't know, but anyhow I still think that frisbee is for dogs. Lol. :P

People randomly throwing rocks into the lake, hoping that it might skipped a few times or so, well mostly the rock just boop into the lake. So much for movie stone skipping scenes?

I'm feeling hungry
My economic assignment is due two weeks from now.
Later go home still need to do accounting
I totally suck at risk. I literally lost my ass off
Taylor's is simple a place filled with all kind if people. I coildnt help to wonder why rich people can differ in such ways.


NFTB


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I guess this is how you feel like when you've got hit by a motorbike and ended up paying a rm150 fine.

I should say that driving is indeed a scary thing, I wish not to drive but Malaysia doesn't have the public transport where it's at least accessible.

I'm wondering why didn't the motorist killed me?
Things would be much easier, no?
Oh well






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I'm officially pissed off.

Being the better person that I am, I don't mind driving, since no one has a car, hence I suggested the nearest venue for the moral project, community service, which is located at Subang Airport.

Then the group mates die die wanna choose zoo negara, which is so farking far away.

I don't mind to go there if you all were to go on your own, but the thing is I need to fetch all of you. Seriously, you think I'm that free is it?

Oh gosh.

"NFTB"

I'm gonna figure out a way to make it into an individual assignment.

Obviously I have not been blogging recently. Well, ......................................... ok, I don't really know why. Maybe it's because I'm using all my spare time on LoL, League of Legends, so no time to blog? Well, there isn't much to blog about anyway.

So, until today, I've done 2 assignments. 1 for econs and 1 for marketing. I must say that I'm thankful for my sister's help with these assignment, provided that she's double checking my assignment and such. KAMSAHAMIDA! <3

So yeah, I've got one more week to go, then 1 week of study break, but it's really a pain in the ass that I have online quizzes during the study break weak. zzzz.

"NFTB"

That's all I can think of right now. hmm

This song is beyond words.

"NFTB"

May I be a good boy and not skip any classes.

"NFTB"

I like this song a lot.

Well, it's just something that doesn't get out of style or something.

I'm still nua-ing at the computer lab, been here since 8, and my class is at 10, yawns.

Oh well, I'm utilizing my benefits as a TU student, ie: learning and spamming the use of a Mac, the big type one, the one for design students, which by the way, the screen is very nice, and the color too.

"NFTB"

Ok, I've finally have time to blog, well, not exactly la, I should say that I'm actually blogging now. :D

Anyway, currently I'm sitting in one of the computer labs in school, my new school Taylor's University.

Being enrolled into the course Applied Finance is seriously tougher than I thought it would be.

It's tougher in a sense that I know nothing about business, finance, economic, and etc, and jumping all of that into the first year of degree is not something good.

Orientation is boring, it seriously is, the lecturer/spokeperson for UniSA, kept going on slides that we already have on our hands.

Dreadful.

But anyway, the question analyzing thing is quite cool though, in a sense that I'm able to analyze things. woo hoo. Plus side of the day.

But the down side, econs.

Oh gosh, I've go no idea where to begin.

The indian lady, whom I don't know her name, but anyway, started with Econ Assignment, then on to what is Econ.

I was like wtf-ing .

She started with What is econ, after blabbering two lines of the notes that was on our hands, she went to Why is econ important, and what does econ do, etc.

OMG

I've gotta pick up, a lot.

Seriously a lot, if not, I think won't be able to make it through the first assignment which is due in 3 weeks from now.

Wish me luck.

"NFTB"

10 thoughts of the newly 19

So it's two days after the big day, well not exactly that big, but yeah, "big day".

I should say, it was normal but I did have a great accompany until I started to screw things up, sorry about that.

So, thoughts of being 19.

1. Oh phuck, I'm 19.

2. I guess it's time to let go of the past and focus more on to a career future?

3. I need to grow up? Well, in Ugly Betty's term of growing up is not about making decisions, yet it's about dealing with the decisions you've made.

4. Take up more responsibility? Well, for sure if I did this, I'm gonna whine and bitch it all over my blog, but yet, I'm eager to see how much I can torcher myself.

5. *random fact* I can never spell torcher right as it's always underlined with red scribble. LOL!

6. I did receive a gift that I love. Well, not to say that it's from the people I love, but hey, I do love the gift, and you. :P

7. I got myself a 5in1 metronome/tuner thingy, I got myself a watch, and bought RM65 gold class tickets for me and my dear, which leads us to the end of the present list.

8. As for all the shits that didn't went away, do remember what Adele sang in Turning Tables, "I'll be my own savior." Bear that in mind, I'll need it, I think?

9. Attending T's 21st made me realized that I'm not a person that parties. Well, I can't even dress to party! LOL! My outfit that day was like I came to party after work, or something. Formal. LOL. But the thing I know I love is that having a bunch of friends to catch up sometimes, and take pictures?

10. I guess I'll never be tired to be musically involved. :)

"NFTB"

Pre birthday! :)

Something cute.





:NFTB:


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This brightened the day.

"NFTB"

Utterly xian, disappointed in myself.

Couldn't think of a better way to describe myself.

Just that, I always thought I was better but it turns up that I'm a very lousy player. :(

I shouldn't have stopped taking flute classes with Mr Foo that time.

One of the thing I regret the most.

Oh well, now with no financial capability, it's all up to me.

"NFTB"

You know when you practiced a lot and you hope that the things you practiced will come in handy.

But sadly, it's not how things work.

Major xianness.

Practice practice practice, yet so far away.

walao.

Bang wall.

"NFTB"

Farewell Dinner

After going through a few farewell gatherings, it's finally mine. I guess it's time to say goodbye to my 7 months year old office boy job.

We had dinner at this place called Poco Homemade.




The original picture is not like this, but just so happened that this color makes the picture looks nicer. :)

After the dinner, one the ride home, I only realized that I have always been blessed with great friends around me. Crazy bunch that always laugh.
I'm really grateful for that.








WithMs Kasse

Waiting for other pictures to be posted.



Love life.

:NFTB:



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I've tried to post something from my ipod like a few times and it's not posting. ish.

Oh well, today's the last day of work.

Below's my farewell letter.

Dear all,

I want to bid farewell to you all and inform you that I'm leaving my position at Double A. Today's my last day of work.

I have enjoyed working for this company and I appreciate having had this wonderful opportunity to work with all of you. I want to thank you all for the guidance and support that you all have provided me.

Even though I will miss you all here yet I'm looking forward to start a new phase in life.

They do say that good things have to come to an end in order for the better things to kick in.

Lastly, do wish you all all the best in life.

I think it's ok la. haha

"NFTB"

It feels like graduation day all over again.

Remembered that I saw a post on either twitter or tumblr.

You own a blog, doesn't mean you're a writer.

You own a camera, doesn't mean you're a photographer.

You own a paint brush, doesn't mean you're a painter.

The thing you have is only the internet.

I think it's something like that, I'm unable to find that post. eks.

Oh well.

:NFTB:

Kinda think of it, I actually practiced from 9 to 11:30 yesterday night, and I felt it wasn't enough.

I did some tone exercise, then fingering ( failed, badly ), scales, chromatic scales.

About the chromatic scales. really wtf la.

I can't believe I can't do it nicely.

The problem is from upper E to C.

I was on repeat for like 15 mins on that thing. =.=

Anyway, but the plus side of the whole practice was my Die Flerdemaus insane double tongue extravaganza.

I'm improved! And I did that for like 15-20 mins, I can't recall, but in the end I stopped because my tongue was tired and I can't double tongue that fast anymore. LOL!

I was able to do a lot of stuff because of my new buddy. :D

"NFTB"

It's actually really early for me to get a birthday gift, but since it happened, who cares? Hehe.






My new 5 in 1 tuner.
My best friend on the road to a better music player. :)


"NFTB"

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I'm actually feeling quite delighted although I'm paying for my own birthday gift.

Well, it's something I should have got a long long time ago, and yet I'm getting it today.

Oh well, at least I'm making the effort to become a better music player.

RM 190, bye bye.

Was having dinner with my relatives yesterday night, it was actually pretty random, cause I was actually waiting for my sister at her school which her exam was until 8:45 pm, after she's done, we went to Mum's place at Damansara Perdana to meet with them.

After dinner we went to my uncle's house, which two of my little cousins pops onto our car.

And this 14 years old cousin told us ( me and my sis ) about his school stuff.

He said: There's this guy in class, I think he has a crush on me. The word around is that people saying that's he gay and he's like stalking me around.

Me: Well, you don't really know he's gay what, maybe he really like your acquittance?

He: But people said that he went and ask another whether he's straight or not.

Me: Just because he asked that so it makes him gay?

I'm actually quite surprised that my 14 years old cousin is such a homophobe.

I guess when you're studying in a school like Garden's international, your reputation is everything.

I think I was expecting too much I guess, after all he's only 14.

Stereotype, is not a good thing.

"NFTB"

Been meaning to blog and yet nothing comes out.

Oh gosh.

The only thing that I feel right now is my tiredness.

I feel like my shoulders weight a ton and everything just seems so tiring.

Oh gosh.

I guess that happens when reaching the end of something.

I'm actually quite looking forward in my uni life.

Being an adventurous person that I am, I can't wait for school to start.

Well, this doesn't have anything to do with being adventurous, but anyway la. :p

major xianness now, got technically nothing to do but to wait for emails and calls.

"NFTB"
I love my blue rubber duckie. :D

p.s: Was watching ugly betty yesterday night, and it was the episode that she went for the writing class, the tutor said that if you have nothing to write, try killing yourself. hmm.

So the whole "A facebook page that cost RM1.8 mil" is making it's way up to the top.

Well, normally I don't really give a shit about what's going on, but this I have to.

It's mainly because that Facebook is being included so that's making all the teenagers going mad about this shit.

\

So I did a lil digging from Wiki.

"Dr. Ng then graduated from Universiti Malaya in 1972 with a Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS). She was also awarded a Diploma of Reproductive Medicine from the Johns Hopkins University, USA."

I am stunned actually. Do you notice the way she talks?

Not to mention the fact that she speaks in a very auntyish way, and yet she's speaking like a gangster! That's the thing I can't accept.

First and fore most, you're a medical graduate, you were to become a doctor and yet you speak like that?

Second, you're the MINISTER of Malaysia's Ministry of Tourism and you speak like that.

After reading stuff in wiki, I really doubt her ability of being the Minister.

According to this article.

“Is Ng carrying out her duties to promote Malaysian tourism or is she promoting foreign tourism instead? Is she now qualified to be called a tourist or the tourism minister?” Chua Tian Chang asked.

tsk tsk tsk.

Malaysia is a big country, and Ng Yen Yen is the best among the other candidates for the Minister position?

Simply stunning.

"NFTB"

Alain de Botton: A kinder, gentler philosophy of success

For me they normally happen, these career crises, often, actually, on a Sunday evening, just as the sun is starting to set, and the gap between my hopes for myself, and the reality of my life, start to diverge so painfully that I normally end up weeping into a pillow. I'm mentioning all this, I'm mentioning all this because I think this is not merely a personal problem. You may think I'm wrong in this. But I think that we live in an age when our lives are regularly punctuated by career crises, by moments when what we thought we knew, about our lives, about our careers, comes into contact with a threatening sort of reality.

It's perhaps easier now, than ever before, to make a good living. It's perhaps harder than ever before, to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety. I want to look now, if I may, at some of the reasons why we might be feeling anxiety about our careers. Why we might be victims of these career crises, as we're weeping softly into our pillows. One of the reasons why we might be suffering is that we are surrounded by snobs.

Now, in a way, I've got some bad news, particularly to anybody who's come to Oxford from abroad. There is a real problem with snobbery. Because sometimes people from outside the U.K. imagine imagine that snobbery is a distinctively U.K. phenomenon fixated on country houses and titles. The bad news is that's not true. Snobbery is a global phenomenon. We are a global organization. This is a global phenomenon. It exists. What is a snob? A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are. That is snobbery.

And the dominant kind of snobbery that exists nowadays is job snobbery. You encounter it within minutes at a party, when you get asked that famous iconic question of the early 21st century, "What do you do?" And according to how you answer that question, people are either incredibly delighted to see you, or look at their watch and make their excuses. (Laughter)

Now, to opposite of a snob is your mother. (Laughter) Not necessarily your mother, or indeed mine. But, as it were, the ideal mother. Somebody who doesn't care about your achievements. But unfortunately, most people are not our mothers. Most people make a strict correlation between how much time, and if you like, love, not romantic love, though that may be something, but love in general, respect, they are willing to accord us, that will be strictly defined by our position in the social hierarchy.

And that's a lot of the reason why we care so much about our careers. And indeed start caring so much about material goods. You know, we're often told that we live in very materialistic times, that we're all greedy people. I don't think we are particularly materialistic. I think we live in a society which has simply pegged certain emotional rewards to the acquisition of material goods. It's not the material goods we want. It's the rewards we want. And that's a new way of looking at luxury goods. The next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari don't think, "This is somebody who is greedy." Think, "This is somebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love." In other words -- (Laughter) feel sympathy, rather than contempt.

There are other reasons -- (Laughter) There are other reasons why it's perhaps harder now to feel calm than ever before. One of these, and it's paradoxical because it's linked to something that's rather nice, is the hope we all have for our careers. Never before have expectations been so high about what human beings can achieve with their lifespan. We're told, from many sources, that anyone can achieve anything. We've done away with the caste system. We are now in a system where anyone can rise to any position they please. And it's a beautiful idea. Along with that is a kind of spirit of equality. We're all basically equal. There are no strictly defined kind of hierarchies.

There is one really big problem with this. And that problem is envy. Envy, it's a real taboo to mention envy, but if there is one dominant emotion in modern society, that is envy. And it's linked to the spirit of equality. Let me explain. I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching, to be envious of the Queen of England. Even though she is much richer than any of you are. And she's got a very large house. The reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird. She's simply too strange. We can't relate to her. She speaks in a funny way. She comes from an odd place. So we can't relate to her. And when you can't relate to somebody, you don't envy them.

The closer two people are, in age, in background, in the process of identification, the more there is a danger of envy. Which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion. Because there is no stronger reference point than people one was at school with. But the problem, generally, of modern society, is that it turns the whole world into a school. Everybody is wearing jeans, everybody is the same. And yet, they're not. So there is a spirit of equality, combined with deep inequalities. Which makes for a very -- can make for a very stressful situation.

It's probably as unlikely that you would nowadays become as rich and famous as Bill Gates, as it was unlikely in the 17th century that you would accede to the ranks of the French aristocracy. But the point is, it doesn't feel that way. It's made to feel, by magazines and other media outlets, that if you've got energy, a few bright ideas about technology, a garage, you too could start a major thing. (Laughter) And the consequences of this problem make themselves felt in bookshops. When you go to a large bookshop and look at the self-help sections, as I sometimes do, if you analyze self-help books that are produced in the world today, there are basically two kinds. The first kind tells you, "You can do it! You can make it! Anything is possible!" And the other kind tell you how to cope with what we politely call "low self-esteem," or impolitely call "feeling very bad about yourself."

There is a real correlationship, a real correlation between a society that tells people that they can do anything, and the existence of low self-esteem. So that's another way in which something that is quite positive can have a nasty kickback. There is another reason why we might be feeling more anxious, about our careers, about our status in the world today, than ever before. And it is again, linked to something nice. And that nice thing is called meritocracy.

Now everybody, all politicians on left and right, agree that meritocracy is a great thing, and we should all be trying to make our societies really really meritocratic. In other words, what is a meritocratic society? A meritocratic society is one in which if you've got talent and energy and skill, you will get to the top. Nothing should hold you back. It's a beautiful idea. The problem is if you really believe in a society where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top, you'll also, by implication, and in a far more nasty way, believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom also get to the bottom and stay there. In other words, your position in life comes to seem not accidental, but merited and deserved. And that makes failure seem much more crushing.

You know, in the middle ages, in England, when you met a very poor person, that person would be described as an "unfortunate." Literally, somebody who had not been blessed by fortune, an unfortunate. Nowadays, particularly in the United States, if you meet someone at the bottom of society, they may, unkindly, be described as a "loser." There is a real difference between an unfortunate and a loser. And that shows 400 years of evolution in society, and our belief in who is responsible for our lives. It's no longer the gods, it's us. We're in the driving seat.

That's exhilarating if you're doing well, and very crushing if you're not. It leads, in the worst cases, in the analysis of a sociologist like Emil Durkheim, it leads to increased rates of suicide. There are more suicides in developed individualistic countries than in any other part of the world. And some of the reason for that is that people take what happens to them extremely personally. The own their success. But they also own their failure.

Is there any relief from some of these pressures that I've just been outlining? I think there is. I just want to turn to a few of them. Let's take meritocracy. This idea that everybody deserves to get where they get to. I think it's a crazy idea, completely crazy. I will support any politician of left and right, with any halfway decent meritocratic idea. I am a meritocrat in that sense. But I think it's insane to believe that we will ever make a society that is genuinely meritocratic. It's an impossible dream.

The idea that we will make a society where literally everybody is graded, the good at the top, and the bad at the bottom, and it's exactly done as it should be, is impossible. There are simply too many random factors. Accidents, accidents of birth, accidents of things dropping on people's heads, illnesses, etc. We will never get to grade them. Never get to grade people as they should.

I'm drawn to a lovely quote by St. Augustine in "The City of God," where he says, "It's a sin to judge any man by his post." In modern English that would mean, it's a sin to come to any view of who you should talk to dependent on their business card. It's not the post that should count. And according to St. Augustine, it's only God who can really put everybody in their place. And he's going to do that on the Day of Judgement with angels and trumpets, and the skies will open. Insane idea, if you're a secularist person, like me. But something very valuable in that idea, nevertheless.

In other words, hold your horses when you're coming to judge people. You don't necessarily know what someone's true value is. That is an unknown part of them. And we shouldn't behave as though it is known. There is another source of solace and comfort for all this. When we think about failing in life, when we think about failure, one of the reasons why we fear failing is not just a loss of income, a loss of status. What we fear is the judgement and ridicule of others. And it exists.

You know, the number one organ of ridicule nowadays, is the newspaper. And if you open the newspaper any day of the week, it's full of people who've messed up their lives. They've slept with the wrong person. They've taken the wrong substance. They've passed the wrong legislation. Whatever it is. And then are fit for ridicule. In other words, they have failed. And they are described as "losers." Now is there any alternative to this? I think the Western tradition shows us one glorious alternative. And that is tragedy.

Tragic art, as it developed in the theaters of ancient Greece, in the Fifth Century B.C., was essentially an art form devoted to tracing how people fail. And also according them a level of sympathy. Which ordinary life would not necessarily accord them. I remember a few years ago, I was thinking about all this. And I went to see "The Sunday Sport," a tabloid newspaper that I don't recommend you to start reading, if you're not familiar with it already. And I went to talk to them about certain of the great tragedies of Western art. And I wanted to see how they would seize the bare bones of certain stories if they came in as a news item at the news desk on a Saturday afternoon.

So I told them about Othello. They had not heard of it but were fascinated by it. (Laughter) And I asked them to write the headline for the story of Othello. They came up with "Love-Crazed Immigrant Kills Senators Daughter" splashed across the headline. I gave them the plotline of Madame Bovary. Again, a book they were enchanted to discover. And they wrote "Shopaholic Adulteress Swallows Arsenic After Credit Fraud" (Laughter) And then my favorite. They really do have a kind of genius all of their own, these guys. My favorite is Sophocles' "Oedipus the King." "Sex With Mum Was Blinding" (Laughter) (Applause)

In a way, if you like, at one end of the spectrum of sympathy, you've got the tabloid newspaper. At the other end of the spectrum you've got tragedy and tragic art. And I suppose I'm arguing that we should learn a little bit about what's happening in tragic art. It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser. He is not a loser, though he has lost. And I think that is the message of tragedy to us, and why it's so very very important, I think.

The other thing about modern society, and why it causes this anxiety, is that we have nothing at its center that is non-human. We are the first society to be living in a world where we don't worship anything other than ourselves. We think very highly of ourselves. And so we should. We've put people on the moon. We've done all sorts of extraordinary things. And so we tend to worship ourselves.

Our heros are human heros. That's a very new situation. Most other societies have had, right at their center, the worship of something transcendent. A god, a spirit, a natural force, the universe. Whatever it is, something else that is being worshiped. We've slightly lost the habit of doing that. Which is, I think, why we're particularly drawn to nature. Not for the sake of our health, though it's often presented that way. But because it's an escape from the human anthill. It's an escape from our own competition, and our own dramas. And that's why we enjoy looking at glaciers and oceans, and contemplating the Earth from outside its perimeters, etc. We like to feel in contact with something that is non-human. And that is so deeply important to us.

What I think I've been talking about really is success and failure. And one of the interesting things about success is that we think we know what it means. If I said to you that there is somebody behind the screen who is very very successful, certain ideas would immediately come to mind. You would think that person might have made a lot of money, achieved renown in some field. My own theory of success, and I'm somebody who is very interested in success. I really want to be successful. I'm always thinking, "How could I be more successful?" But as I get older, I'm also very nuanced about what that word "success" might mean.

Here's an insight that I've had about success. You can't be successful at everything. We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance. Nonsense. You can't have it all. You can't. So any vision of success has to admit what it's losing out on, where the element of loss is. And I think any wise life will accept as I say, that there is going to be an element where we are not succeeding.

And the thing about a successful life, is a lot of the time, our ideas of what it would mean to live successfully, are not our own. They are sucked in from other people. Chiefly, if you're a man, your father. And if you're a woman, your mother. Psychoanalysis has been drumming home this message for about 80 years. No one is quite listening hard enough. But I very much believe that that's true.

And we also suck in messages from everything from the television, to advertising, to marketing, etc. These are hugely powerful forces That define what we want, and how we view ourselves. When we're told that banking is a very respectable profession a lot of us want to go into banking. When banking is no longer so respectable, we lose interest in banking. We are highly open to suggestion.

So what I want to argue for, is not that we should give up on our ideas of success. But we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas. And make sure that we own them, that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it's bad enough, not getting what you want. But it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want, and find out at the end of a journey, that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along.

So I'm going to end it there. But what I really want to stress is by all means, success, yes. But let's accept the strangeness of some of our ideas. Let's probe away at our notions of success. Let's make sure our ideas of success are truly our own. Thank you very much. (Applause)

Chris Anderson: That was fascinating. How do you reconcile this idea of someone being -- it being bad to think of someone as a loser, with the idea that a lot of people like, of seizing control of your life. And that a society that encourages that perhaps has to have some winners and losers.

Alain de Botton: Yes. I think it's merely the randomness of the winning and losing process that I wanted to stress. Because the emphasis nowadays is so much on the justice of everything. And politicians always talk about justice. Now I am a firm believer in justice. I just think that it is impossible. So we should do everything we can, we should do everything we can to pursue it. But at the end of the day we should always remember that whoever is facing us, whatever has happened in their lives, there will be a strong element of the haphazard. And it's that that that I'm trying to leave room for. Because otherwise it can get quite claustrophobic.

Chris Anderson: I mean, do you believe that you can combine your kind of kinder, gentler philosophy of work with a successful economy? Or do you think that you can't? But it doesn't matter too much that we're putting too much emphasis on that?

Alain de Botton: The nightmare thought is that frightening people is the best way to get work out of them. And that somehow the crueler the environment the more people will rise to the challenge. You want to think, who would you like as your ideal dad? And your ideal dad is somebody who is tough but gentle. And it's a very hard line to make. We need fathers, as it were, the exemplary father figures in society, avoiding the two extremes. Which is the authoritarian, disciplinarian, on the one hand. And on the other, the lax, no rules option.

Chris Anderson: Alain de Botton.

Alain de Botton: Thank you very much. (Applause)

"NFTB"

video link

Nike V-series by Łukasz Ziętek

6:03 pm

Conversation between me and my uncle.


U: I think it's best you talk to your father first before doing anything.
Me: yeah, I think? I'll try to communicate with him and see how it goes.
U: well, don't worry. If you wanna study, just study.
Me: oh. Ok ok.


Sometimes I wonder why my aunts and uncle cares more than my own father.
I wonder if ther's a theory like because you're indirect related to someone so you tend to care more? Or you're just a better person.

I'm touched by my uncle's words.
I called him yesterday but he didn't pick up and he called by just now.
My agenda was to loan the remaining 40k from him and when he called just now just don't know what to say.

P.s: my singapore aunt called me this afternoon and advices me to talk to my dad first.


Oh well. I don't have any other options do I?



"NFTB"



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Some confident boost.

"NFTB"

For all that happened, I never realized it.

I have a father who thinks I'm incapable of completing a degree.

By so means I've got no money to go uni which I'm not really afraid off.

But the other thing is that I would wish that my father, Lee Chin Guan will go to hell.

He failed to raise his kids and refuses to pay for their college fee. What the hell is that?

Oh well.

People changes

Life changes

I guess I'll be having a whole different kind of life now.

May all go well.

"NFTB"
Pray hard for me to find the remaining RM40k.

The thing about passion is something like what he said.

"I'm not a good singer, but I just enjoy it."

That's what passion is all about.

You don't need to be the greatest athlete in the world to be on top on mount everest.

You just gotta have the right mindset to be on top of the hill. :)

"NFTB"

I can't help to feel like the past could be better if I've had did this this that that. I know there's no use doing so and the thing about living the present is that I don't know where is the line of enough? I kept on looking back yet I'm not focusing on the present.


Things can be changed if people believes in themselves.

Even in the darkest dark, there's a pit of light.


Never let yourself down.


"NFTB"



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

So, there's this birthday party coming and I'm actually looking forward to it, but I'm having problems with what to wear, cause it's a birthday party, and I just wanna look good. :D

I've been searching, and this is what I wanna wear, I think?

It's totally me. :D

I mean, it's a nerdy look with bright color accessories, which is my totally thing.

I've already got the shoe, the watch, and now I need a bow tie and a belt, which I know where I'm getting the belt, so it's the bow tie that's killing me.

For this little piece of beauty. It cost like 35 dollars with 13 dollars shipping fee which cost around RM 150 for a bowtie! Faints.

source

So, I've searched around, and this is what I can consider buying.

It's not really expensive, each of it cost around RM40.

source : http://www.mytieshop.com.my

So, just comment and tell me which do you prefer.

Thanks in advance. :D

"NFTB"

Thinking back the times where I thought of ending my life.

I wanted to change the current situation, but nothing can be done, and so, it occurred to me that maybe by ending my life I can no longer need to change.

Oh well, that's the past.

There's so much things in the world that I wish to change, and yet, I'm impossible to do so.

As I get older, I tend to accept the fact that there's nothing I can do to change what I wanna change, so I just gotta suck it up and move.

I wonder, what happen to the raging fire of wanting things to change.

Hmmm.

"NFTB"
I guess immunity is the answer.

It's been a time I cam whored. This is what I call Model Wannabe. :)


NFTB

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I actually watched the video. LOL. I mean, it's like 46 mins long, anyway, I'm watching it at work so who cares.

I'm actually grateful that I didn't exactly get bullied when I was in secondary school, most of my bullying was in primary, but somehow I have a loving mother and sister where they always helped me get through the hard time.

During secondary, my friends are accepting. They didn't turn their heads on me because of what I am, and I'm grateful for that. Or maybe I'm in a decent school where bullying wasn't a major issue, gossiping was.

Anyway, I wanna thanks JL for being there for me when I needed he the most that time. :D

"NFTB"

Darren Criss by Kai Z Feng for GQ

Sports jacket, $595 by Gant by Michael Bastia

The jacket is awesome!

Tie, $46 by Club Monaco

I love the tie! :D

Personally, I love tuxes yet they're freaking expensive and not exactly practical.

"NFTB"

source: GQ

I've been meaning to blog since Monday yet all I did was open up this blog and stare, refresh, click on other people's blog and doze into blog wonderland. Yeap, that's all I did.

Gosh, why is it so hard for me to write something, or is it showing me a fact that I'm not a person who writes blog? I'm just someone who likes to whine about his life.

geezzz. I don't know what to write.

Let's use the point thingy.

1. I've got a new work desk. It's freakingly big which me likey! The desk is big until the extent that it can fit an old desktop computer on it, by that I mean, a huge monitor and a huge cpu, not to mention the mouse and keyboard.

2. I've not received my salary for the past two month ( starting tomorrow ). There's some issue with Bangkok. They're not giving M'sia office money by saying some crap. I'm looking at it as a way of saving money.

3. I miss a lot stuff, ie, school, band, music.

4. About music, the thing about playing at KLPac is that I don't feel like we're a team, I always feel like I'm just there to play the notes on my scores, and that's it, so it made me realize how good it felt when I was back in school. Being part of something, a big family. ahh. I miss those days.

5. I have not been a good friend.

I just noticed that some friends of mine actually commented on my blog, and I didn't know until today. I'm shocked by the comments. As I only found out that there's a tab on the dashboard page stating comment. geez. I'm sorry. I guess things could've work out differently.

6. I've just downloaded Glee Volume 6, and Lady Gaga's Hair. I actually wanted to download the whole album of Born This Way but I can't find the freaking link. So I gave up, just download the only song that I think has the potential playing on my playlist.

7. I've download Sim3 on my ipod! Yeah me. :D

"NFTB"

Gotta sleep now.

Aiya, after waking up tomorrow, everything's still the same.

"Being a teenager sucks, but accepting one's self seemed to brighten the spectrum."

Read here.

"NFTB"

p/s: I modified the line.

I always like the song For Good, even though I have not watched the classical musical, Wicked.

Gotta watch it soon, but anyway, this song is plainly music. In fact, a very good one.

This is the first version that I've listened.

And there comes the glee version.

Personally, I prefer the Sam Tsui and Nick Pitera version, as there's more harmonious lines than the Glee's version.

But the glee's version of the song is very clean.

P.s: After listening to both versions again, I find that Nick's voice is better with Rachel and Sam's better with Kurt. Hmm. Interesting huh?

"NFTB"

So Pride and Prejudice is like, so..... English.

Whenever I'm reading the dialogs, I have that fake english accent running in my head.

Gotta read more la..

"NFTB"

According to BBC, I've gotta read these books before I die.

So might as well start now.

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher

51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie

I'm currently reading Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen on my ipod.

"NFTB"

READ READ READ READ!