I'm so afraid of not being able to sleep at night and it's not funny anymore.
Thoughts, endlessly running through my mind.

I am really afraid.

So afraid that I think sleeping pills is the next option ahead.


NFTB

Of the sound of ice blending, the small talks that people do while tapping on their phones, the people trying to catch a read even the environment is so noisy, the people like me tapping on their laptop as if there's really anything to do on their laptop.

Well, I guess this is what keep me sane, knowing the fact that I'm part of of this world, knowing this makes me feel alive and the loneliness seems to dim away.

I guess when you've been at home, in your own room, looking at the same wall for quite some time, you tend to feel lonely, feel as if there aren't any reasons for you to be alive, as you wake up in noon, have lunch, sit in front of the laptop, watch a movie, drama, manga, play a few rounds of LoL, or DN. In the very end it just gets you down.

Sitting in a crowded Starbucks, did the cheapskate thing of hogging a place to sit with my awesome black sigg bottle, looking at what other people are doing makes me feel happy, I think?

I guess it's the fact that being here in this Starbucks, looking at all these people, thinking that our lives have this overlap that all of us are now sitting in this Starbucks doing what we are doing, this seems kinda awesome, no?

Actually I don't really know what messages am I trying tot convey.
Hands on the keyboard typing while the eyes are looking around at what the other people are doing.
Trying to feel inspired, I think?


And Merry Christmas by the way.
May the end of the world shit come later, like a lot later in life.

"NFTB"
I'm excited for Les Miserable!