I found out why did I kept complaining that I'm very broke.

Cause I just founded that my salary for last month went to this month and last month's expenses, no wonder I so damn broke.

1 month salary for 2 month to use. Of course broke la, don't even mention the RM270.

LOL.

"NFTB"
All is well.

:D

Sometimes in life you will be forced into something that wasn't you fault, but technically your fault.

It's one of the things that will never be understand by someone who had encountered it.

You really really don't wanna do it, but still you gotta do it.

For the first time in my life, I spend the 1st RM270 on someone else rather than me.

That could have went to my budget to buy my sebago shoes, but instead it went to someone else's pocket.

Oh well, what to do?

Things are fated.

Well, it's quite fated that I met you too. hehe.

But that, I have no regrets or what so ever.

I'm thankful for that.

"NFTB"

oh by the way, Happy Birthday my dear. :D

Made a wrong turn, once or twice

Dug my way out, blood and fire

Bad decisions, that's alright

Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood

Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down

Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated

Look, I'm still around

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing

You're f*ckin' perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong

Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead

So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!

Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game

It's enough! I've done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing

You're f*ckin' perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer

So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time

Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere

They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair

Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time

Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that..?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby..!

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel

Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

You're perfect, you're perfect!

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing

You're fuckin' perfect to me...

I miss you, I really do.

I just never thought that I would miss you until this extent.

You only just got on the flight.

Oh well, it's not like I'm never gonna see you again.

hehe

"NFTB"

Can't wait for you to get back.

Things are finally back at where they were.

Thank god.

"NFTB"

Please don't leave me.

I guess it's my fault that we're further apart then before.

I really don't know what to do.

:(

I've made the biggest mistake of my life, at least for this 19 years that I'm alive.

I've been eaten up by materialism.

I neglected someone that I because of some bull shit phone bill, which leads to my desire to have the bloody iphone.

Screw the phone, I want you more than I want the bloody phone.

You're way important than that stupid phone.

Money can't buy what we've built. I don't want to put what we did on risk.

I should not have left you when you were in need of me.

I teared, because of my careless behavior.

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, it's just that I want myself to never ever make this type of mistake anymore.

You're the one that I care about.

"NFTB"
I'm really sorry. :(

First and fore most, I know that I should be sleeping by now, but I can't bare this, I need to write it down.

I want to say that I'm sorry, for being the one stopping our relationship to progress, because of my stupid phone bill, which I don't really know what to do. To me, I know that you're trying very hard to make this relationship work, which it makes me feel worst. I don't know what to do. :S

I only know that I want to love you with all my heart, and hoping that you won't leave me.

I don't wanna go back to before where I didn't have any place to turn to.

"NFTB"

I'm sorry.

I always have the urge to work hard for something that I've seen.

I don't whether it's a good thing or not, but the main idea is that having a life that is being lived to the fullest without any regrets.

I want a bright future.

I wanna earn at least 10k salary a month when I reached 30.

I wanna give the people I love the life that they deserve.

I won't back down.

This is just the beginning.

"NFTB"

and sorry, I know I should be sleeping now, but I always have thoughts at time like this.

I'm really sorry.

In the middle of a humid night, I woke up, feeling frighten, tears started to fill my eyes, I hugged the person beside me, and I found out it was you.

I was scared, but that god you were beside me.

The last thing that I remembered is

me: Don't ever leave me.

then I woke up, it was 7am this morning.

"NFTB"

Dear JC.

I'm grateful to have you in my life as you're always concerned about what's going on with my life,

even the slightest blog post about my random mumblings you would call and ask about what's going on with me.

I wanna thank you, for everything you've done for me.

"NFTB"

I know I should be sleeping already, but I've gotta write this before I sleep.

Thanks.

I'm stressed, like seriously.

I don't know why am I so stressed.

First come the financial issue where I have no where to turn except for you.

Then come the course choosing issue.

I really don't know what to do.

I guess I've to give up what's in front of me in other to satisfy what I want now.

I really hate this.

"NFTB"

I guess I'm really stressed out about this whole phone/finance issue.

Whenever I'm at work, I'll keep on thinking about money.

Damn it, why am I bothered by this?

It's up to a point that I don't even know why do I need to pay for my own phone bill.

Technically I'm still underage, whereby you still need to pay for me.

Now, I need to buy my own cloths, pay my own bills.

Seriously, what the fuck is with that.

I haven't change a new bag for the past 3 years.

I haven't change a new wallet for the past 3 years.

I haven't change a new watch for the past 3 years.

I haven't change a new pair of shoes for the past 2 year, not mentioning the one that got stolen.

What the hell is wrong?

I don't get this at all.

"NFTB"

I've said the things that have been on my mind for quite some time, and finally today I've said it.

I feel good, but my only concern is only hoping that things wouldn't fall apart.

I'm sorry, for being stubborn, for acting in ways that you're really worried about.

I'm sorry, I'll change.

I don't want myself to be a burden to you.

Give me time.

"NFTB"