Maybe someday I could in portraits like above.

Maybes and the power of Ifs.

Been not blogging for the past few days.

I guess, when you're half studying/not studying, it stills equals up to studying, by so it means time consuming.

So, I'll update a long long post when I'm done with this shit.

"NFTB"

oh, and 1 thing to blog about.

You know when you are one of the frequent consumer of starbucks and mostly all of the staff knows you.

When I went and asked about the form regarding to the job, the girl that served me was like:"wth?" haha

Really, she had the face on and I knew exactly what she's thinking.

oh well, after this shit, I'm gonna send loads of emails regarding temp jobs, already send 2 this early morning.

off to bed.

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And when you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is odd with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out,
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re the hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst, that you must not quit

Quoted.

"NFTB"

The Day has come.

They day has come.

For us to take our jackets, IC, pens and pencils, 准考证 to step foot in the hall that we've spent 6 years there.

It's finally here, of 6 years, this is the moment that we've been waiting for.

As for me, I'm quite relieved that it's finally here.

No more useless struggling as it's already here and you don't exactly have the time eat all 6 textbooks for each subject, so just let it.

To be honest to myself, I know I'm gonna fail, big time.

As for the study leave, I've not been studying the way I should be.

So, let go, just let things fall into the order of what has meant to be fated.

Why the struggle? There's already no more time left.

And to my fellow friends who are sitting for UEC for the next few years.

Please be sure that you get everything ready before 预考.

That's the only to keep your grades up high.

What I can say is that, UEC is a paper that tests not only the knowledge of studying, and the endurance of how long can stand reading the same paragraph of a particular text book after a lot of times.

So, my best advise for you guys is that, please study hard at the starting of the year, like really hard.

Hand in everything on time even though you've got to sleep at 3 am everyday.

I tell you, it's worth it.

Alright, I'm off to dinner now, and back to school after that.

And lastly, are you guys ready?

Best regards to all.

"NFTB"

Technically 2 more days to UEC.

Hmmm.

I've got seriously no idea how am I gonna go through this.

This is like those one in a life time crisis.

Well, to make things sound a little better, the only subject that I can study for more then 30 minutes is math. So that's kinda a good thing right? But the others, ahem ahem.

I really know I'm gonna die this time, no one's gonna save me unless I pull it together.

Despite the fact that I know I'm gonna die, but I 'm still not doing anything.

God bless me?

"NFTB"

Quoted:

Slowly drowning in my sorrow

Wishing things would be better tomorrow

Feeling like I am in an ocean of doubt and despair,

gradually sinking and gasping for air.

Knowing life is not a light switch you can flip on and off

Simply settling and accepting I have to carry on.

Trying to keep my sanity and composure intact

out of fear of how those close to me, might react.

Fears of inadequacy as a human, as a woman, burry themselves deep in my head

As I make a foolish attempt to have a good night's rest in my lumpy bed.

Due to the fact that there are others out there ten times better than I,

makes me afraid and let out defeated sighs.

Since it seems like things will always be this way,

its frustrating because I have to go through it day after day.

Yet, when my quandaries are more than I can bare,

I can at least take comfort in those who really care.

You know who you are, and so do I.

That knowledge keeps me from going over the edge, from giving up and giving in.

'NFTB'

Actually, I in this current stage because of my doings, and I have no idea why am I doing this to myself.

I guess it's the rejection that I can't accept.

I guess I'm just that weak, but according to you, admitting being weak is a sign of strength, I don't really agree with this point, but it does make a stand.

My dear wall-friend.

You've been here for me whenever I need you.

You didn't left, or given me the look.

You accept me as who and what I am.

I thank you for your presence, as I have created you.

"NFTB"

Some time, we just need a silent friend.

Today I'm gonna write about fate.

First and foremost, what is Fate?

After some googling, fate is the theory that everything happens just they way it is supposed to happen and all things and events are predetermined.

Well, for me, fate is a thing like god, you can't prove that he doesn't exist and yet can't prove that he does.

I do believe in fate, that everything is predetermined, but recently during one of my random thoughts, I came up with something rather stupid, or not.

Well, it's something that I call it "fate forcing", until I can think of a better name to call it.

I don't really know how to explain what the hell is "fate forcing", but it's something like this.

Just now while I was at Mid Valley, when I went into the washroom I saw this a-hem looking person, and he kinda looked at me, but I couldn't care less. After I was done with my business, he was still in the washroom, and then we walked out together. Maybe it was fated, or he intended to stay longer in the washroom due to other reasons which I have no idea.

Then I went off to dinner. When I was about to leave Mid Valley, I was walking randomly, then i saw the person again, so I kinda stay there and waited for few minutes and see whether something would happen or not, but nothing happened.

So, my point is, "fate forcing" is like you're creating the space for things to happen.

Maybe it'll, or it won't, who knows?

Just maybe it's because of you created a space for fate, things could change.

Anyhow, I'm gonna refine my thoughts and update on this.

This is just the idea, and it's kinda crappy.

I don't really know whether it make sense or not. =S

"NFTB"