To be honest, I have never thought of myself making it this far in life.

I always thought that life would somewhat end on this random day where I was sitting in class, or something.

But since I'm already here, it feels relatively weird.

Things feel unreal, yet they are real.

I guess this is the part of growing up that I have yet to experience.

And by the way, the thought of needing to present yourself to your future employer sorts of frighten me?

Which I don't really understand why, cause during the day I'm like, yeah, no problem, just go in, sit down have a chat with someone you barely know, and try to sell yourself and wish that he/she would eventually employ you?

But during the wee minutes before dozing of, the fear of being judge haunts me.

Oh well.

Even the fact that friends that used to meet up on a daily basis no longer meets up.

I guess it's part of the growing process.

NFTB

I hate it when you wanna do something and money becomes the main constraint.

I have heard too much stories of how parents making the wrong investment on the wrong children.

Why can't someone invest in me.

Like just for once, I wanna go on a trip where I don't have to pay for anything.

Just for once, it's enough.

I guess we eventually will move on from things, either we want to or not.
It's a matter a fact that us, simply human beings, being able to adapt to whatever scenario and eventually move to a new equilibrium where life is at peace.

Let the past make peace with the present.

And hope that all is and will be well.

After all, what can we possibly do?


"NFTB"

So I was sitting at the coffee shop that I used to go during secondary school.

Ordered the fastest food available which was the fried dong fen.

Looking around at the students, the random strangers and the familiar faces that worked there.

I couldn't help it but grinned.

I really couldn't stop grinning, or stop showing that smile on my face.

There were simply too many memories, too many good ones and bad ones.

It's been too long since I felt this way.

Being glued to this current life, the endless due of assignments and tutorial works for god knows what.

The plate of fried dong fen and the cup of teh peng.

I would kill to relive that.

With my mates from band, class, and muffinz.

The purest joy.


"NFTB"

Hi. It's been a long while, I just don't know what mess have I gotten myself into.

I hate the feeling that every week, there are readings to be read, to be understood, summarised, answered and handed in.

I really hate that.

This is currently the 7th week of school and I've never felt so tired before since I got into university.

It's not about the fact that I procrastinate more than actually doing work.

I just don't feel motivated to do any of this shit.


Which leads to my constant anger of with what the hell I'm doing.

I know for a fact that I am capable to complete what I am supposed to, but then I just don't want to.

And I can't find the reason why.

It could be possible that I've been getting lazier since the day I started university, and I ended up where I am right now.

I just don't know what to do.

Weeks after weeks.
Doing the same shit, just trying not to fall back.
Trying to earn marks to get a good grade.

I'm sick and tired of everything here.

"NFTB"

There weren't any mics, you can hear that annoying aircond sound.

Just a lousy cam corder that can't even record HD.

The sound so grand, that almost brought me to tears.

We were only a high school band, with normal instruments.

But the sound, it's simply too beautiful.

I will be forever proud.

Proud of us, we managed to produce such good music.




"NFTB"

How I look at 4am.


I'm again stuck on writing this frigging report.
It's not hard, but then I'm just stuck.


"NFTB"