Somehow I don't feel right.

I feel as if there's this barrier that's blocking us.

:(

"NFTB"

I'm sorry, that I doubted you.
I shouldn't have do so.
Me and my immature behavior.

I should have trusted what you said without any doubt.
I'm an idiot.

I guess I just want to be there for you whenever your feeling down.

Geez. What have I done?


'NFTB '
I'm sorry



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The midnight bus

As you all know, I'm a frequent bus taker.
Kinda think of it, not frequent, it's a daily thing to me.
Because of the whole political shit, the public transport in Malaysia has never been good, not to be mean here, it's kind of a fact, but anyway I still take it no matter how lousy it is. So that kinda makes me somehow a Malaysian right? I don't know.

I always like bus rides, I don't know, some good music and the views is just so relaxing. It has never failed to take things off my mind.
When I'm going home on the public transport at night, dealing with depression or just feeling sad, the scenery always helped to make me feel slightly better.

I just feel so down today, no particular reason, it's either that I've got reasons to be high or there's something going on that I'm not aware of. Like what the hell is with this shit. Geez

I guess I'm just bring grumpy when I'm tired. I'm not exactly having enough rest this recent. Even if I got to bed early, I'll mostly be turning here and there till 12am then finally I can sleep.

Oh well, life.


"NFTB"


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I'm lucky to have you in my life as you've always cared so much about me.

Up till a certain extent, some times, I feel like you're my parent, you care more than they do.

The only difference is that you're not part of the making process of me.

That's not a big issue isn't it?

But anyway, I'm glad to have you by my side at times like this.

Every time when I'm down, you just put a smile on my face.

"NFTB"
Off to bed I go.

P.s: I love you.

We ( me and my family ) went back Johor for qing ming yesterday.

Woke up around 4 something that morning, and hopped on the car at 5.

The only thing that I remembered is taking two big pillows on the car and sleep.

The next thing I knew, I was already back in Kluang, and it was around 9 something.

Had breakfast at that shop that sells delicious toasted bread.

Then went to grave.

Did the whole cleaning, and praying shit.

Ended at 2 something.

Well my thoughts are, when you're doing things just for the sake of doing it.

It doesn't mean much does it.

Religions/Rituals has never been my thing.

I mean, if I don't believe it, how can I do it?

Even if I did it, what's the point of doing so?

It's not like after I pray, "they" will give me more money, or luck, or wisdom, etc.

Right?

So why no move your lazy ass and do what you want to achieve than praying and burning colored paper/paper origami of stuffs.

Zzzz.

Was quite furious about the whole thing, because of some dead people that I've got no idea who the hell they are, I need to wake up so damn early.

Fine, I'm good with the whole qing ming concept, but the main thing is we need to drive all the way back to Johor just to do so.

I mean, that's just ridiculous. Patrol no need money ah?

We can't rewind time alright?

Geez.

I just want some "me" time, Sunday is supposed to be my "me" time.

And my "me" time had be taken up dead people.

Major xianness.

With a blink of an eye, now I'm back at work, sitting this desk, waiting for some damn miracle to happen so that I'll be rich and no need to work for the rest of my life.

LOL

"NFTB"
Going for lunch now.

p/s: I know I'm thinking too much. hehe

After using blogger for almost 2 years, I only found out that you can view your blog's stats.

haha.

After viewing it, I'm like, ok, I'm a really lousy blogger, but what the hell.

This blog is supposed to only about me and my life, so I don't really give a damn about the stupid stats.

Oh well, I seriously need to write more eh, I feel like my ability to write is really really decreasing,

although writing has never been the first choice of my studies.

"NFTB"

stats stats stats.

When the passion in your heart rises above, and life just don't give any damn about it, that sucks.

Well, that's how I feel now.
I feel lost, like a bird in the sky trying to find it's way home to the tree that it belongs.
Music has never left me, the thing is that I left music.
I left when I was 15. I left because my mum told me that there's no way for me to persue music in the future, and then I gave up. I stopped taking lessons.
I regretted that move.
If I had continued, I could have been better.

And again today, I was shot down like a bird that was shit down by a hunter. The bird didn't die at that particular moment where it got shot, the pain is sinking in, kicking in until it passes out. I'm like the bird now, the pain of rejection is kicking in.
I guess, there's really no way for me to learn.

I guess all I can do now is, just sit and wait.


"NFTV"
a broken teenage heart

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone